Girls, Don’t Be Afraid to Use the F Word

While I was on my mission in 2008-2009, the name of my academic department at UC Santa Barbara changed from Women’s Studies to Feminist Studies.  Since I registered in 2006 as a Women’s Studies major, I still graduated with said title on my diploma.

And thank God for that, because I would have had to do a whole lot of explaining if I went though life with a degree in “Feminist Studies”, and “Women’s Studies” is hard enough.  (But your jokes about how you should have had that major because of how good you are at “studying women” never cease to amuse me.”

“Feminist” is a dirty word to many.  Ask almost any Mormon woman how she feels about women’s rights and she will most likely give you some version of “I believe in women’s rights, but I’m not a feminist or anything.”  Non-LDS women will often respond in the same way.  Bring feminism up to men and they usually just get uncomfortable and make an awkward joke.

Google told me that feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.”  Any argument? *Looks around*  No?  That’s what I thought.  We can all agree that gender should not determine the quality with which a person is treated.  So that’s feminism!

But then why does this Tumblr titled “Women Against Feminism” exist, which has dozens of presumably female contributors?  It hosts a series of images of women proclaiming why they don’t need (or want) feminism.  You have probably seen one or more of these images floating around on Facebook.)

It exists because the idea of feminism has been demonized.  Most women who reject the idea of identifying as “feminist” do so because they have one or more of the following perceptions about feminists:

  • Feminists hate men.
  • Feminists are lesbians, sluts, or have some other kind of reprehensible sexual habits.
  • Feminists expect special treatment.
  • Feminists are whiners with entitlement problems.
  • Feminists are brazen bitches who you have to be on eggshells around in order to not offend them.
  • Feminists are anti-family and threaten standards of morality with their advocating birth control and abortion.

Let me be the first to say that I have met many-a-lesbian who would call herself a feminist.  I have also met many-a-brazen-bitch who would do the same.  The perceptions I listed are not entirely absurd.

But you don’t have to be any of the things I listed in order to be a feminist.  I know feminists of most religions and of no religion at all.  There are pro-choice feminists and pro-life feminists, working feminists and stay-at-home feminists, queer feminists and non-queer feminists.  One of the core values of feminism is that women should be free to do and believe whatever they want.  And that means you can be whatever kind of feminist you want to be.

You can be pro-life and be a feminist.

You can be a Christian and be a feminist.

You can be a wife and be a feminist.

You can be kind, gentle, and introverted and be a feminist.

You can even be white, rich, and Republican and still be a feminist.

You can call yourself a “feminist” without worrying about what the man you’re on a date with or the woman sitting next to you in church will think about it.  You are not abandoning a high set of moral values by subscribing to the idea that you and other women deserve fair treatment.

The feminist movement has taken many forms (trust me, I’m an educated expert in the field) and accomplished many things (both good and bad, in my most humble opinion), but attaching yourself to the label of “feminist” does not attach you to every single thing done or ideal held by every single woman (or man) who has ever lived.

Be yourself, be a feminist, and don’t ever feel a need to explain yourself.

(But I’m not like a feminist, lol.)

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3 thoughts on “Girls, Don’t Be Afraid to Use the F Word

  1. […] Girls, Don’t Be Afraid to Use the F Word […]

  2. chococatania says:

    While I didn’t ever formally major or minor in Women’s Studies, I took enough classes to have at least minored in it. I always considered myself a feminist for most of the reasons that you have given. I didn’t have any problem declaring that.

    Then, during the last Women’s Studies class I took (my second to last semester of college), things changed for me. I felt that this women’s studies class was kind of garbage, and I found that the answers to my questions – about my identity as a woman – were better answered in my Old Testament Class than any of the other classes I was taking! (We studied a lot of women in that class!

    Anyway – I came to this realization. I wasn’t a feminist. And I’m not a non-feminist, either. Instead, I kind of adopted my own version of 4 Nephi 1:17 – where during the time after Christ’s visitation to the Nephites, there were no manner of “ites.”. I have decided that I don’t really want to subscribe to any manner of “ist.” We need one another. Men need women. Women need men. And that’s totally okay. We are interdependent, and we can love one another. We can build each other up and champion each other’s efforts. We don’t need to compete with one another – as we are actually supposed to be in this together. We are “on the same team.” So it doesn’t make sense for all of us to play first base.

    I hate to sound cheesy or trite, but I really mean it. So, now I proudly say that I’m not a feminist. And note because I’m scared of what someone will say if I were to be one, but because I think it’s time we elevate our games and get rid of the “ist” altogether.

    Thanks for the interesting blog post and food for thought! 🙂

  3. Ladd Gustafson says:

    It seems that you are holding onto feminism just for the sake of holding onto it.

    Obviously, men and women don’t have to be feminists to believe in equality. People who hold onto feminism because of what it once was is analogous to a child who refuses to throw away an old, disgusting blanket from infancy for what it once was. Just because at one point it was useful and served some good purpose does not mean that it should exist forever–especially if it is now disgusting, repulsive, and altogether different from what it once was.

    What you describe above is not what feminism is in reality. It’s not a have-it-your-way kind of thing. What you describe is an ideology that promotes equality for everyone regardless of sex, race, color, or creed. There is already a term for this: Classic Liberalism.

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