Okay, this is a post that is literally years in the making. It’s been brewing deep down and not so deep down. But I’ve always held back, because I didn’t want to offend anyone. So, if I say something that upsets you because it doesn’t apply to you, then know that it doesn’t apply so therefore you shouldn’t be upset. If it upsets you because it does apply to you, then I don’t think that being upset with me will solve any of your issues.
I don’t know every MLM in existence, and I don’t know every success story or everything good thing that it has ever done for anyone. I admit this. I’m sure that there are people who are fulfilling their wildest dreams due to an MLM.
However, I am about to tell you all the things that bother me about MLM-doers, most of which I experience over social media (namely FB and IG).
1. Making me be in your group. This is just annoying. I just counted and I am in 20 MLM groups. I asked to be in zero of them. Am I free to leave? Sure. Free to unfollow? I already have. But I don’t like being added. Especially if we’ve only met like once.
2. “Would you rather give your money to a CEO, or to the stay-at-home mom next door?” LOL. The CEO.
Why? Because the CEO is good at what she does. Really good. Her company sells a product that I want at a price I am willing to pay. It’s probably convenient for me to pick up at a store whenever I want it or to order it quickly online and have it within a week. She is doing business, and she is doing it well.
Now I’m going to say something that sounds really harsh. If I buy something from you so that your kid can play soccer, or because you want to be a stay at home mom, or even because you need to pay your bills, we’re are not doing business. There’s another name for that, and it’s called “charity”. They are not the same. Imagine if a group of high school band kids tried to convince you that paying $10 to have them wash their car was a better thing to do than paying $6 to go through a drive through wash at Chevron and tried calling themselves a business. No. That is charity. Is it good? Yes! But it isn’t business.
3. “I got these new shoes with my commission this month.” Uh…okay. But do you realize that most people are buying shoes and all of their other clothes and even paying their bills with their wages? A business opportunity that lets me buy a new pair of shoes once a month seems pretty abysmal to me.
4. The emojis. When I see a post filled with emojis, I know what it is and I know I’m not going to like it. I’m of the opinion that an emoji is like an exclamation point or all caps- they get used when your words are not good enough to stand alone. They’re not clever. They’re not informative. They don’t make me smile or feel connected to you. They just say “This is an MLM”. You can do better.
5. “Reconnecting” in order to make a sales pitch. It’s so obvious and so tacky. And honestly a little insulting as well. It automatically diminishes a friendship when you begin to use it that way. I once even had someone have the nerve to bring God into it and tell me he was “inspired” to share it with me. Hard pass, buddy. Hard pass.
Notice that I haven’t mentioned any MLM by name, or said that they are scams that call their customers “employees” and use empowering rhetoric to get them enthused. I believe that people should do whatever works for them. If you sell an MLM product because you really enjoy doing it, good. If you’re getting rich, awesome as well. These are a few things I hope you consider in the process:
1. Don’t pitch me, but ask me for help. As your friend, I want you to succeed, but I need for us to be friends first. That means that I get approached like this: “Hey, I’m trying this thing to make some money. Just letting you know in case you are interested.” Not: “HeY LaDy!!!!1! LoNg Time no C! You’VE cHanGEd so much since HS! I sAw tHat YoUr LiPs Could Use Some WORk! I Sell LIPPY-IPPY which EmPoWers GURLS in CounTriEs LikE AfrIca! RiTE nOw YoU Can GET a SPECial deal- Buy 6 Get the 7th FREE!!!!!! Only 19.95$ each plus tax plus s+h.”
2. Don’t be a sob story. If it’s a business, do business.
3. Keep your work and your personal life separate. It’s just the classy thing to do. And to be honest, it will help people take you seriously.
4. Don’t talk about it like it’s the greatest thing ever. If you ask anyone with a “regular” job if they like it or not, the majority of people will say that sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. If someone told me that they loved every single day, loved their boss, loved their coworkers, loved each client, planned to do nothing else for the rest of their lives, and had not one negative thing to say about it, I would think that they were being paid to lie. Can you like your work? Yes. Can you love it? Sure. Should you think it’s absolutely perfect? No. This is not believable. It’s another thing that makes it difficult for people to take you seriously.